Short story about nothing at all

[Guest]

Hey-Ho!

This story is written in "school english", so some words may be invented or wrong spelled, but after all it´s readible I guess.

And here it is:

A Short Story About Nothing At All

“Good morning and welcome to radio Moonwalk, your…”
“Shut up…”, whispered Tom wearily. Slowly he stood up and tried to get dressed, a very complicated job if you slept only three hours last night.
“Computer, anything important happened?”
“You have fourtyseven new mails, one is from the high command.”
“The Admiral? I wonder what he wants… so, read it out… delete the other stuff.”
“Done. Reading message. From: Admiral Anojing, To: Captain Tom Trot
Captain Trot,
I order you to move your destroyer ‘Trybest’ from Argon Prime to Black Sun, where its weapons are needed to hold the xenon threat down. Manage to be there in at least two weeks.
By the way, you haven´t paid the new Coke vending machine yet.

Admiral Anojing”
Thanks, thought Tom. Last week he had to update the weapons, which was very expensive, and now he knows why he had to – to be ready to move to the front line. Tom tried best to make his job as a commander well, at the beginning he was optimistic and thought he would make cash with the job, but now he had to pay more because of accidents than he earned.
“One day…”, he whispered, looking out of his window in the stars.
“Captain, we have a problem with the shields”, some engineer said per funk.
“I´m on my way…”, Tom answered bored and went over to the canteen for his breakfast.
Problems on this ships weren´t real problems, they just needed time and money to be solved. Tom wondered how many days he´d survive in the xenon battle while he tried to eat his toast. Must be a bit older, he thought while spitting it out.
Without eating anything more he slowly went to the shield generator, exspecting to lose time and money. There were twohundred Credits left, his next wages he would gain in eight days. He hated the military life, especially on this destroyer, because in the end everything was his mistake and he had to blame for it. Tom wondered if there was any morale left at any captain of the Argon Federation. (If it wasn´t, it must have been his mistake.)
“So, what´s up with the, err…”
“The shields”, his engineer said, “are not working.”
“And who is responsible for the shields?”
“Well, nobody. I´ll go for lunch, excuse me…”
So Tom stood alone in the machine room and stared at all the red flashlights.
“Quite interesting…”, he mentioned. “I wonder if this means anything…”
While he thought about the deeper sense of live and red flashlights, nothing happened – almost five minutes passed.
“After all there´s a hull left…”, Tom said quietly to himself and decided that this wasn´t his problem anymore. But it would be.
“Warning!”, the computer shouted and blared out three horrible sounds. “We´re under attack! Ship hull integrity at twenty percent!”
“…I quite hate this…”
Unsure he approached to the keyboards and screens on the big computer, pressed the ‘any’-key and waited for something to happen. Nothing happened.
“We´re still under attack”, the computer reminded him.
“Sure sure…”
“That means that we´re blown up to star dust if you don´t do anything.”
“Well… let´s communicate with them…”
Slowly he moved to the commando central. After a fourth horrible sound by the computer he began to run.
“Officer, open a channel to the attacking fleet!”, he ordered.
“It´s not a fleet, it´s a buster”, Fred, his officer, said. “But, however, channel opened.”
“Thank you”, Tom said to him. “So, idiot from buster, why are you attacking us?”
“Nothin´ else to do…”
“That´s a good reasen, go on”, Tom said. Fred looked at him shocked. “I mean it´s no good reason”, Tom corrected himself. “Please stop shooting at us or I´ll, err… phone the police. Or launch some rockets, however.”
“I´m not gonna stop this, I´m just reloading the lasers.”
“Well… what´s your name?”
“Brennan from earth.”
“You’re the third Brennan from earth this weak. And it´s Tuesday. This Goner Freaks… sending one assassin stranger after the other… well, who cares, it´s just a buster.”
“Well”, mentioned Fred. “Would be no problem if we had any shields raised.”
“And what´s happening now?”, asked Tom.
“Warning!”, the computer shouted. “Ship hull is broken! Evacuate the destroyer!”
“Good idea…”
The evil buster pilot(, who was blown up three minutes later by a Discoverer) laughed and flew away. Tom decided to stay alive and was able to fly to the next station in an escape pod. The military gave him a nice desk job and he was happy for life.
(Tom died twenty years later because of canteen meals.)


And what teaches us that?
Simply Nothing.

To say it with Colin Higgins´ words:
And even this will pass by...




EDIT:
Feel free to comment on it.

[Arget]

*lol* You're really good, Mayor! But concentrate a bit mor on Victoria.

[Grace of Death]

LOOOL we need more of these nonsense-stories (maybe you could do this kind of story in german too? plz)
you write like you've never did anything important before
so you know how it works..to do nothing and to effect nothing with simply nothing but senseless babbling i mean

I LIKE THIS STORY

[Guest]

But concentrate a bit mor on Victoria.

Aye Aye Kaeptn.

(maybe you could do this kind of story in german too? plz)

I´ll do my best.

you write like you've never did anything important before

Eventually I never did something important.